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Monday, September 12, 2011
love's stupidity
Have you been in a shoe where your partner kept alleging you of things you had nothing to do with and when you got mad what you got was the caustic question"Then what makes you furious if you're not guilty?"; but when you said not a single word you got berated with "You're speechless because you know you were wrong and now being incinerated by your guilt!"? If so far not, then you're lucky one.
Stress, among other emotional predicaments would someone suffer for having a nagging partner. I used to ponder upon this Pinoy cliche "Kung walang baga walang usok (If there's no cinder so is smoke)" and in all fairness, it proved itself somehow right, but never in all cases. It just happened that i mistakenly picked a partner--someone who checks my cellphone in both surreptitious and vulgar manner. Thing i hate most because i am a person who grew up with sense of privacy that whether a person is hiding a thing or two or otherwise is no way part of my business. Thus, i think i deserve to be treated the same way. That simple--respect and be respected.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Dead Seconds
Not really planned to write about this incident that happened March this year but as i was thinking of a good subject it crossed my mind then i didn't have to realize i had to write on it--i just had this feeling i had to.
Said it occurred in March. It was a Saturday at three thirty p.m. and just did my laundry. Being tired i went to bed and watched TV while two of my roommates, Neil and Willie, were busy preparing for a shopcapade (from my self-published dictionary) in Divisoria. Never been to the place so i kidded i wanted to go with them but when they took it seriously I was convinced that neither was i joking. I really wanted to go but my body was so opposing the idea. Well, i was darn tired so just decided to take a rest. My body triumphed.
I was startled by the sound of a broken mirror. Rubbed my eyes while figuring out what just happened--I was merely dreaming and been asleep for almost three hours. I checked the wall clock and it said "hi! it's 3:30." Without thinking I got on my feet and went to the restroom. It's a ritual. I have this attitude of going to the restroom to pee every time i wake up even in the deepest moments of the evening. As the first drop of urine hit the toilet bowl i felt something surged up my whole system. I saw tiny, interconnected red dots in a background of black and red colors. Then i saw Mother's, siblings', nephews', and nieces' faces. Then death engulfed my mind. In my brain i was able to say a short prayer--"Lord, not now." That was, as far as i can remember, the last thing i managed to do. Saying a very short prayer and I believe that it saved my life. That's the second time i did that, because back in 1995 i nearly drowned. And I thank God for always listening.
I opened my eyes and saw the the basin about two inches close my eyes. I felt the wetness of my boxer shorts and shirt and the pain on my right thigh. There was also pain above my nape.Upon getting out of the restroom i checked the clock and it still read 3:30 and a few seconds. Concluded that I lost consciousness only for seconds but why did I feel very tired as though i just returned from a bloody battle. When i sat on our green mono-block chair and understood what just happened i was swept by a sudden feeling of dread. If my head hit something hard seconds ago i must be already in a senseless state and probably immobile for the rest of my life, or the worst dead. I recalled a close relative who just passed away. She slipped in their bathroom and had her head bumped the edge of the toilet bowl. She was rushed in a provincial hospital and transferred in Manila; was in a coma for days but eventually gave up to death's call. Then i figured out how Mother would react if she heard that his son just died. What if I died? What would be next to my mother and my youngest brother? What if...
Neil and Willie finally arrived.
"What happened?" they asked so i realized that there was an obvious sign of the incident other than the facial expression i tried to conceal. I planned not to answer the question but i realized that i hadn't changed my wet clothes. And so I told them the story and after showing their concern they went on showing their finds. Willie bought two wrist-watches--a silver plated and a fake black laced Nike; a pair of shorts and some striped collared shirts. Neil bought a red and black belt, shorts, and blue sneakers.
A day after, Willie broke his black wrist watch. As i was listening to his laments as to how he got it broken I was saying a prayer in my mind. "Thanks God, Thank You Gd."
Said it occurred in March. It was a Saturday at three thirty p.m. and just did my laundry. Being tired i went to bed and watched TV while two of my roommates, Neil and Willie, were busy preparing for a shopcapade (from my self-published dictionary) in Divisoria. Never been to the place so i kidded i wanted to go with them but when they took it seriously I was convinced that neither was i joking. I really wanted to go but my body was so opposing the idea. Well, i was darn tired so just decided to take a rest. My body triumphed.
My roommates arrived with bags of items they bought from Divisoria. Neil showed a pair of sneakers bragging on the cheap price he managed to deal with the salesperson. Willie pulled on a short pants--the usual short pants i see donned by the not-so-manly mall goers. Ahmmm...nope, Willie's a real man with a Taiwanese wife and blessed with a baby girl. Neil got from a huge paper bag a belt and pantaloons. A black watch on Willie's wrist caught my eyes so I queried about the price. "Hundred fifty!" was his response but my interest was deviated on his facial expression. The guy must be very proud of his bargaining ability. He handed the wristwatch to me and as i was about to try it on it fell on the floor.
I was startled by the sound of a broken mirror. Rubbed my eyes while figuring out what just happened--I was merely dreaming and been asleep for almost three hours. I checked the wall clock and it said "hi! it's 3:30." Without thinking I got on my feet and went to the restroom. It's a ritual. I have this attitude of going to the restroom to pee every time i wake up even in the deepest moments of the evening. As the first drop of urine hit the toilet bowl i felt something surged up my whole system. I saw tiny, interconnected red dots in a background of black and red colors. Then i saw Mother's, siblings', nephews', and nieces' faces. Then death engulfed my mind. In my brain i was able to say a short prayer--"Lord, not now." That was, as far as i can remember, the last thing i managed to do. Saying a very short prayer and I believe that it saved my life. That's the second time i did that, because back in 1995 i nearly drowned. And I thank God for always listening.
I opened my eyes and saw the the basin about two inches close my eyes. I felt the wetness of my boxer shorts and shirt and the pain on my right thigh. There was also pain above my nape.Upon getting out of the restroom i checked the clock and it still read 3:30 and a few seconds. Concluded that I lost consciousness only for seconds but why did I feel very tired as though i just returned from a bloody battle. When i sat on our green mono-block chair and understood what just happened i was swept by a sudden feeling of dread. If my head hit something hard seconds ago i must be already in a senseless state and probably immobile for the rest of my life, or the worst dead. I recalled a close relative who just passed away. She slipped in their bathroom and had her head bumped the edge of the toilet bowl. She was rushed in a provincial hospital and transferred in Manila; was in a coma for days but eventually gave up to death's call. Then i figured out how Mother would react if she heard that his son just died. What if I died? What would be next to my mother and my youngest brother? What if...
Neil and Willie finally arrived.
"What happened?" they asked so i realized that there was an obvious sign of the incident other than the facial expression i tried to conceal. I planned not to answer the question but i realized that i hadn't changed my wet clothes. And so I told them the story and after showing their concern they went on showing their finds. Willie bought two wrist-watches--a silver plated and a fake black laced Nike; a pair of shorts and some striped collared shirts. Neil bought a red and black belt, shorts, and blue sneakers.
A day after, Willie broke his black wrist watch. As i was listening to his laments as to how he got it broken I was saying a prayer in my mind. "Thanks God, Thank You Gd."
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